Feelings of love are important, but they're not enough to stay in a relationship. Even if the feelings are still there, there are many reasons why you might question a relationship.
The important thing is to listen to how you feel in your relationship and assess whether it's in line with your values. To see if breaking up is the best decision for you, ask yourself the following questions:
Is there a lack of communication in my relationship?
Are there recurring disagreements that can't be resolved?
Are there more times when I feel bad than when I feel good?
Do we sometimes say or do things that hurt the other person?
Do I feel that my values and opinions are not respected?
It's normal to feel confused, because your relationship can give you both positive and negative emotions. If you're experiencing negative emotions more often in your relationship, or if you don't feel respected or feel afraid, breaking up may be the solution to consider.
1 Reasons for breaking up
What are the main reasons for breakups among teenagers?
Click on the percentage to reveal the reasons
Physical or sexual violence
Decision of my or their parents
Psychological violence or control
I met someone else
My partner cheated on me
Other
Lack of common interests or different values
I don't have romantic feelings anymore
Breaking up is never an easy step. You may feel guilty for making someone sad or not want to lose the aspects of the relationship you enjoy. You may also still be attached to the other person and be afraid of regretting your decision.
Take the time to think about your relationship and how it makes you feel. Talk about it with a friend or an adult you trust to help you sort through your thoughts.
What are the methods to prioritize when I want to break up?
Methods to prioritize
Being honest I name the real reasons why I want to break up, straightforwardly.
Being respectful I avoid shouting, insulting or belittling the other person during the discussion. I speak in "I", about my feelings, and avoid accusing and using "you".
Staying sensitive I take the other person's emotions into consideration, while remembering that I'm not responsible for their reaction, even if they are very sad.
Acting quickly If I'm sure I want to end the relationship, I say so to avoid giving the other person false hopes.
Acting safely If I no longer feel safe, I have the right to leave. I can simply resume the discussion at a calmer time.
Remaining firm I stand by my decision at the end of the discussion, despite the other person's reactions.
Methods to avoid
Creating expectations I don't tell the other person that I want to keep in touch or remain friends just because I feel guilty about breaking up.
Taking detours I don't tell the other person that I want a "break" - it only keeps their hopes alive.
Using an intermediary JI don't break up through a friend. I prefer a face-to-face discussion to help the other accept the breakup. I may consider doing it over the phone if I feel unsafe.
Exposing the break-up on social networks I don't break up publicly on social media or publish details about my breakup, as this is not respectful of the other person.
Acting in a way that hurts the other person I don't denigrate the other person or the relationship.
2 Are there only downsides?
Are there only downsides to breaking up?
Breakups can be experienced in different ways: for some, it’s painful, whereas for others it’s a relief. Breakups can also have upsides! It’s an opportunity to:
Get to know yourself better
Build your self-confidence
Determine what you’re looking for in a partner
Focus on yourself and the things that make you happy
Spend more time with your friends and family
Finally, simply ask yourself what is best for YOU.
Going through a breakup isn’t easy for anyone. Whether it’s you or the other person who ended the relationship, it can be painful.
A breakup can bring up all kinds of unpleasant feelings:
Sadness
Anger
A feeling of abandonment
Questioning yourself
Fear of the future
Feeling like you won’t be able to get past it
But don’t worry, all these feelings are normal.
According to you, on average, how long can it take to get over a breakup?
2 weeks1 month6 months1 year
There is no right or wrong answer. The intensity and the duration of a heartbreak vary from one person to another, but the unpleasant feelings usually lessen over time. Going through a breakup is like mourning. You have to accept letting go of someone who was important to you. If what you’re feeling doesn’t lessen over time or if you have dark thoughts, talk to an adult you trust.
How will I get over my breakup?
There is no magic formula to get over a breakup. There can be days when you feel like being alone and crying, and that’s normal! However, there are things you can do to get your mind off things and have fun. Take the time you need to get back into action. You can start by giving yourself 1 small challenge a day, for example, the ones below.
Click & drag on the suggestions to build your toolbox:
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{{item.title}} {{item.small_text}}Other things I love doing/that make me happy:
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Refer to the suggestions you placed in your toolbox to see what helps you. The important thing is to listen to YOUR needs. Take time for yourself and continue your regular activities, the ones you love. If you feel the need to, talk about it with a friend or someone you trust.
Should I stay friends with my ex?
A breakup can make you question the type of relationship you want to have with your ex. This person played an important role in your life, which can make this choice harder. To help you sort through your thoughts, ask yourself the following questions:
Is it better for me to completely cut ties?
Can we have another type of relationship together?
Will it make me sad to stay friends with my ex?
Will it affect me if they are in a relationship with someone else?
It can be hard to stay friends with your ex right after your breakup. With time, when the emotions felt are less intense, this may change. It’s important to listen to yourself and to make the decision that is right for YOU.
